Joe Cone
Saybrook
Conn.
A snowstorm threatened to strike this section one day last week, but the weatherman being non-union, strike breakers were put on and the weather proceeded as usual.
This reminds me of something I overheard down to the P.O. a short time ago. Abe Crocket was reading the weather report which said: “Fair tonight, followed by pleasant weather.” “Fair tonight,” says Abe, “who’s givin’ a fair, anyhow? This ain’t the usual thing, by heck! All the fairs I ever attended wuz follered by general depression an’ a busted bank account!”
Henry Billings found a horseshoe, almost as good as new, on his way home to “Four Corners” a few nights ago. Henry was being congratulated on his find when he surprised his hearers by saying: “Huh! I don’t consider I wuz very lucky,” and when asked why not, he replied, sarcastically: “I wouldn’t hev found it if I hadn’t stepped on it an’ shoved a nail into my foot.”
A party of friends and neighbors in the “Crick Row” district started out the other night to give Mrs. Len Hooker a surprise. Mrs’ Hooker is of a practical turn of mind, and when the delegation poured in upon her she exclaimed: “Well, ain’t this lucky! I was a-goin’ to have a rag bee next week, but the rags are all ready now, and I’m dreadfully behind on my sewin’!”
Phil Potter has the reputation of being something of a village wit. He tried to pass over Jim Pratt, the Gungy cobbler, but Jim, true to his calling, came in on the last.
“How you getting’ long?” says Phil
“Hammerin’ out a livin’,” says Jim.
“Well,” says Phil, “if you keep peggin’ along you’ll be pretty well heeled.”
“How you gittin’ long?” asked Jim.
“Manage to eat, sleep an’ drink,” says Phil.
“Well,” says Jim, “if you keep on drinkin’ the way you’ve be’n goin’ you’ll beer float!”
An interesting lawsuit is about to be instituted in this town. Really, it is a pair of lawsuits, and for brevity might be termed “a twin suit”. The situation is this: Silas Miller, the out East carpenter, was shingling Gabriel Perkins’s barn. Silas slipped from the roof, which was frosty, and fell to the ground, but before he hit the ground he struck Mr. Perkins, who was picking up old shingles, a glancing blow and broke his arm. Silas’s leg was broken in the fall, so that both men are out of commission. Silas is suing Perkins because he didn’t have sufficient lumber to make the roof safe, and Gabe is suing Silas because he has left some of the roof open to the weather with probable storms. Gabe contends anyhow, that if Silas wanted to fall off the roof and get damages it wasn’t necessary to fall on him.
The suit is for $1,000 a side, and friends of the contestants have figured out that if they lose they won’t gain anything, and if they gain they won’t win anything, but they say they won’t back down.
Joe Cone
No comments:
Post a Comment