Sunday
Papers In Gungawamp
(From
The Gungawamp Hawkeye.)
Last Sunday evening the Rev.
Silas Barlow preached on “The Sunday Newspaper or the Sunday Preacher, Which is
Which?” taking his text from the “Sunday Scoop”, Stay at Home Edition, Vol.
LXIV, No. XIX, page 120. “Six days shalt thou labor, and on the Seventh shalt
thou rest.” The “rest” will be found in the next issue of the “Sunday Scoop,
Religious Department."
Of the many excellent thing
he said we herewith quote a few.
“It is evident that the
Sunday paper has come to stay. I observe in some of my parish visits that the
entire edition stays until the next one appears. I also observe that many of my
congregation are staying, too; staying at home. And what are we going to do
about it? It is a question between me, if you please, and the Sunday paper. The
Sunday paper is multum in parvo; I cannot be. The Sunday paper is sensational;
I cannot be. It is flashy; this I cannot be. It is untruthful; I – I am not
(kerchoo!) The Sunday paper is left at your door; so am I, at times. It costs
but five cents per week; to some of you I come even cheaper than that. It
lights your fires, protects your carpets, covers your bundles and assists you
in lapping flies in the summer time; in all this it has, of course, the
advantage of me.
It is crowded with
departments. There are departments for the butcher, the baker, the candlestick
maker, and for every sport from mumble peg to bull fighting. Brethren and
sisters, this is a momentous topic. For years I have been worried over this
Sunday newspaper question, but was never actually alarmed till on Sunday last
when upon unfolding my own copy I beheld the following startling headlines:
“Church at Home!
Hereafter The Sunday Scoop
will print the sermons entire of six of New York’s greatest divines! Our
readers will thus be enabled to read these wonderful sermons each Sabbath
several hours before they are preached in their respective pulpits.”
This, brethren and sisters,
is the last straw. Something must be done at once. Look about you and see the
result of this latest departure in journalism. Today our number I cut from
forty seven to eighteen. After a week of careful consideration I bring to you what
I believe to be the only remedy. It would be useless for us, either singly or
as a body, to try to crush out the Sunday newspaper, therefore I propose that we
postpone all Sunday services till four o’clock in the afternoon, thus giving
the entire congregation an opportunity to devour the contents of this
journalistic storehouse. I firmly believe that every one of us should have
equal opportunities in all matters of this kind. Will Deacon Whitcomb put this
motion?”
The motion was made,
seconded an unanimously carried, and now the good people of Gungawamp wear such
a smile as we haven’t seen before in many years.
Joe Cone
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