Column- "Origin of the Dude"




In a stated time God created the world and saw that it was good. Then created he man, fair of form and feature and unencumbered by much clothing. No manner of single eye-glass adorned his person, and no manner of silken hat or patent leathers had he ever gazed upon. And God saw that it (the man) was good. Then breathed he the breath of life, and lo, did the man walk even like unto a pedestrian. And this was Eden, wherein grew flowers, spices, melons and fall pippins in abundance. And yet man was not satisfied. A nameless longing did pervade his bosom and tug at his heartstrings, whereupon did God create mysterious woman. She likewise was fair of form and feature and not overburdened with furs and fine silks, and prevailing fashions disturbed not her serenity of mind.
And was man then satisfied? Nay. He must needs play with fire and tamper with green apples and be burned, and be driven from the garden, the while the beguiling serpent grinned and turned a somersault. Then arose a great nation like unto the image of this man and this woman, and they builded them houses and did weave and spin to cover their nakedness, Out of this nation sprung certain Darwinites and other ites, and lo, they were dissatisfied and uneasy of spirit.
And these certain Darwinites and other ites bethought themselves that man was not created but descendant of Monkeydom, of the species called Apes, and strong they were in belief thereof. And lo, the nation and in mighty voice said, “Provest thou this.” And straightaway did the Darwinites and other ites hold counsel and lo, they said of a necessity we must produce a dude.
And straightaway they produced a dude and when the nation beheld the dude nigh unto the ape a mighty shout went up and they said, “Verily, the dude is but the monkey skinned and clothed to cover his nakedness.”

                                                                              Joe Cone
East Cambridge, Mass.
circa late December, 1893



(clipping has a listing of the assets* of the National Bank of New England in East Haddam, CT, as of Dec. 19, 1893 on the reverse side. Perhaps from The Connecticut Valley Advertiser?)
(*$275,619.48)




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