When I Go Home Ag’in

I yuster be a country chap, all freckled, lank an’ lean,

But sarcumstances drew me to this city uv the bean;

This noisy, classick city, where you’re h’isted frum your feet,

By keerless, jos’lin’ multitoods an’ kerried down the street.

But soon, for two hull weeks I’ll leave this nerve prostratin’ din,

                         For outin’ time 

                         Is in its prime 

                     An’ I’ll go home ag’in.

“W’en I go home ag’in,” O Jinks! how good that soun’s to me,

I’ll straddle every high rail fence an’ shim up every tree;

An’ arter havin’ one square meal uv milk an’ apple sass,

I’ll go down in the medder lot an’ woller in the grass.

Then I’ll take off my coat an’ shoes an’ race aroun’ like sin,

                        An’ chase the cows,

                        An’ spill the house,

                      W’en I git home ag’in.

Then I will dam thet noisy brook thet idles hour by hour,

An’ run dad’s grin’stone an’ his saw by endless water power;

I’ll rig a thing for churnin’ cream an’ turnin’ over hay,

An’ other things so, he kin do three times as much per day;

Becuz you see I hardly keer myself ‘bout pitchin’ in,

                        So I’ll invent,

                        To great extent,

                      W’en I git home ag’in.

“W’en I go home ag’in – O Lord! keep me alive till then, –

I’m goin’ in a-swimmin’ with Erastus, Jeb an’ Ben;

An’ we’ll dive an’ duck each other in the mill pond near the flue,

An’ our ma’s won’t “titrevate” us same es they yuster do.

An’ fore I git quite home – tee-hee – if courage stays within,

                        At Sue’s I’ll stop,

                        An’ mebbe “pop”,

                      W’en I git home ag’in.

Aug. 24, 1892

Pub. in Boston Courier

Oct. 2, ‘92

(missing) for Ct. Ad.