If a rooster can’t
fight
On his own dung-hill;
He never could
fight
And he never will.
So don’t ever crow
Till the fight is done,
‘Cuz the other old
skate
Might hev just begun.”
– Abe Crockett’s
Barnyard Ditty
I.
There
wuz a rumor round the town, although ‘twuz purty low,
Thet
Gungy’d hev a rooster fight, but when they didn’t know;
Abe
Crockett said he hed a bird thet he’d put in the pit
‘G’inst
anything they hed in town, or any out uv it.
Bige
Miller heard what Abe hed said, an’ said he hed a bird
He’d
like to put ag’inst ol’ Abe’s, he would upon his word;
He
said thet Abe wuz jest a brag a windmill walkin’ round,
An’
when it come down to a show thet Abe wuz never found.
II.
The
neighbors kind uv egged ‘em on, an’ called ‘em scat, an’ slow,
Till
finally their blood wuz up an’ they arranged the show.
They
said they mustn’t breathe a word around the town, not one,
Becuz
the women folk would rise an’ sp’ile the hull durn fun.
‘Twuz
whispered round frum man to man, but they used lots o’ keer
So
thet a hint would never reach a Gungy woman’s ear.
An’
so the fight wuz all arranged, an’ Sunday wuz the day,
The
women folks would be to church, they ‘lowed an’ out the way.
III.
Abe
told his wife he’d lost a cow an’ Sunday he would see
Ef
he could find her anywhere, “I hope you will,” says she.
Bige
Miller told his wife the same, an’ so all through the place
The
men folks they hed lost their cows an’ hed to give ‘em chase.
At
ten o’clock the men folks met on Hiram Culver’s farm,
‘Cuz
Hiram lived some distunce out an’ fur removed frum harm.
There
wuz a space ‘twixt farm an’ shed say ten foot square or so,
An’
here frum sight uv er’rything they wuz to hev the show.
IV.
There
wuz an anxious Gungy crowd thet leaned around the square,
An’
when the birds wuz brought in sight they wuz a noble pair.
There
wuz some greenbacks flashed in sight, excitement rose right high,
An'
there wuz blood an’ other things in Abe an’ Bijah’s eye.
When
all the bets wuz taken up the roosters wuz let go,
An’
each one eyed the other one an’ then begun to crow.
An’
then they dropped their big red heads, an’ spread their feathers thin,
An’
called each other barnyard names, an’ then they butted in!
V.
Waal,
say, twuz a gorgeous start, an’ Abe danced up an’ down,
An’
Bige he scicked his rooster on, an’ acted like a clown.
The
crowd jest cheered an’ hollered loud an’ kep’ a closin’ in,
An'
Gungy never hed, I guess no sech a Sunday din.
Abe’s
rooster larned the other one, an’ Bijah’s larned him back,
An’
blood an’ feathers flew upon the anxious Gungy pack.
‘Twuz
nip an’ tuck an’ all the while excitement grew ez well,
An’
then – waal somethin’ happened, what I can’t exactly tell.
VI.
Two
women, armed with garden rakes, stole up behind the pack
An'
brought ‘em down both left an’ right, each with an’ awful whack.
Men
tumbled over into heaps, the roosters squawked an’ run,
An'
Abe’s an’ Bijah’s wives stood there an’ basted ‘em like fun.
Abe,
crushed an’ conquered, plead fur peace, an Bijah follered suit,
The
other fellers dusted out, nur chose the smoothest route.
A
lot uv bills wuz scattered round, an’ these the women got
An'
led their weepin’ husbands frum the desecrated spot.
VII.
O,
there are roosters raised today in Gungy ez uv yore,
Proud
birds they strut an’ crow each day round Abe’s an’ Bijah’s door;
But
they ain’t been no rooster fights, not in a public way,
By
any Gungyites I’m told, sence thet eventful day.
An’
when Abe comes in Stokes’s store they josh him jest a mite,
An'
Abe he gits his dander up an’ allus wants to fight.
An’
Bijah ‘lows no rooter fight, inside or out uv pens,
Is
ha’f ev fatal ez the kind put up by Gungy hens!
O, a rooster kin
fight
On his own
dung-hill,
An’ you’ll find
thet he’s
In the game to kill;
But a durn’d ol’
hen
Will come in sight
An’ the rooster
then
Ain’t got no fight.
Aug.
16, 1911
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