The Braggin’est Man

Timothy Cyrus Bustard Brown

He was the braggin’est man in town;

It didn’t matter of what he told,

If ‘twas anything from out his fold,

A cat or a cow, a pig or nag,

He just charged the atmosphere with brag.

Whatever he had belonged to Brown

It beat all holler all else in town.

He’d set by the hour in Stokes’ Store

An’ brag uv his wondrous crops galore;

His corn wuz the tallest, his beans the best,

Potatoes ahead uv all the rest.

He’d got the best cow in Gungywamp,

She wouldn’t hook bars nor would she jump;

“She gives the best milk in this hull town,”

Said Timothy Cyrus Bustard Brown.

“An’ talk uv a hoss, that hoss of mine

Won’t take any dust along the line.”

“An’ ev’ryone knows,” says Cap’n Joe,

“It’s ‘cuz the old nag is so all-fired slow.”

“My hens, says Timothy, ‘tother day,

“You just ‘aster see what them hens lay.”

“I guess,” says the Cap., with a few “By Hecks”,

“I guess I would need a pair uv specks.”

But Timothy Cyrus Bustard Brown

Continued the braggin’est man in town;

He bragged uv his house and barn and land,

His boy’n college who was so grand.

But must uv all would brag of his wife

“The best durn woman in all this life”

She wuz a good woman, and that wuz why

We ‘lowed him to brag incessantly.

Aug. 15, 1910