The Book Agent Cure

Listen my children, and you shall hear

Of the greatest scheme of all the year;

A scheme that will rid yourselves of all

Book agents and peddlers great and small.

We tried it ourselves but yesterday

And soon they carried the fellow away;

Although he was big strong and tall

He’s now in the city hospital.

We purchased a box of Manila cigars,

As long and black as a pirate’s spars,

And laid them upon a desk close by

So they would catch the passing eye.

In came a book agent strong and tall,

He wouldn’t be downed any way at all;

So we said to him, by way of a joke,

“Excuse us, old man, but have a smoke?”

He lighted the slug from the far-off isle

With a thank you sir and a beaming smile.

We opened the window to let the scent

Go forth to the dull gray firmament.

The agent he suddenly ceased to speak,

And his lips were white and his courage weak;

He leered like a man with a foggy brain,

And held on his stomach as though in pain.

“Excuse me,” said he, “but I need more air,”

And he dashed out towards the thoroughfare.

He hasn’t been back to resume the case,

And we never expect to behold his face.

We have a big stock of cigars on tap

For any book agent of peddler chap.

And, listen my children, you’re all very lame,

If (you) don’t get a bundle and do the same.

May 26, ‘10

                                            

                                                                                     The Straits Times, 13 May 1910, Page 2

                                               http://eresources.nlb.gov.sg/newspapers/Digitised/Article/straitstimes19100513.2.3.aspx