Ballad of Gungawamp’s First Moving Picture Show

                                       I.

A well-dressed feller come to town, one who could talk, you bet,

An’ handed out a cheap cigar to ev’ry man he met,

An’ pasted up some poster bills, them gaudy things, you know,

Announcin’ of a big event, a movin’ pictur’ show.

The grocer men they got a pass, postmaster ayer the same

Fur hangin’ up the bills around so people, when they came

Fur groceries or fur mail would read an’ wanter go;

An’ fur a week all Gungawamp jest hankered fur the show.

                                       II.

Well, after waitin’, seemed a year, the evenin’ come along,

An’ to the Gungawamp Town Hall there went a mighty throng;

They come frum near, an’ frum afar, the young, the old an’ slow

Becuz ‘twuz new the Gungawamp, a movin’ picture show.

We’d heard the city people tell about them great machines

How they would pictur’ real live folks in home an’ furrin’ scenes;

Uv soldiers fightin’ in the wars, an’ railroad wrecks an’ all,

An’ so uv course it wuzzn’t strange we filled the old Town Hall.

                                       III.

They fin’lly turned the lights all down an’ switched on their machine,

An’ jest a ha’f-way picture come upon the cotton screen;

They fussed an’ fiddled with the thing, an’ couldn’t make it go,

An’ then the boys begun to yell an’ guy the pictur’ show.

The thing it buzzed an’ sputtered like ‘twas full o’ pepper sass,

An’ all the time a streak o’ light wuz comin’ through the glass,

But fully ha’f an hour went by afore they made it go,

An’ so we settled down once more to see the picture show.

                                       IV.

First thing they showed wuz Uncle Sam a-standin’ on a ball

A wavin’ uv a flag which meant that he wuz boss uv all;

Uv course we cheered an’ stamped our feet, an’ encored long an’ loud,

An’ made ‘em throw it on again, to satisfy the crowd.

An’ then come one uv Washin’ton goin’ ‘crost the Delaware

An’ for a minute most the crowd thought it wuz pretty fair,

Then some one saw some trickery was tryin’ to be done

An’ for a while it looked ez tho’ we ‘us goin’ to git some fun.

                                       V.

There stood George Washin’tom ez straight ez any soldier should,

An’ men wuz pokin’ uv the ice, an’ rowin’ best they could,

But they wuz usin’ uv a boat right up to date, an’ so

Some feller up front says he, “this is a fakir’s show!”

Ha’f uv the people then riz up an’ wanted back their cash

An’ lowed ef ‘twazn’t comin’ soon some things would go to smash.

The movin’ pictur’ man he begged fur them to settle down,

An’ he would put some pictur’s on, a credit to the town.

                                       VI.

They settled back into their seats, but most uv them wuz filled

With doubt, an’ when the next one come what faith they had wuz killed.

He throwed a southern river scene, an’ on the bank there lay

An alligator sleepin’ like, an’ children come to play,

An’ pretty soon the “gaitor” woke – a make-believe one, too,

An’ grabbed a child an’ swallered him jest like real “gaiters” do.

Some woman in the audience she jest let out a bawl,

An’ there wuz somethin’ doin’ then in Gungawamp’s Town Hall.

                                       VII.

The boys upset the blamed machine, an’ run the men out-door,

An’ tore the screen from off the stage an’ stamped it on the floor.

The grocer man he tried to speak, postmaster ayer the same,

But they hed got admission free, an’ both wuz in the game.

They chased the movin’ pictur’ men way up the street an’ then

The sheriff come upon the scene an’ quieted ‘em again.

But many years went by before, ez ev’rybody knows

A movin’ pictur’ man durst come to Gungawamp with shows.

Nov. 29, ‘09