Ballad of the Gungy Kitchen Dance

You kin hive your balls an’ parties of the upper-ten design,

Where the cow-necks are the features an’ the patent leathers shine,

Where the swaller-tails are danglin’ ez the waltz acrost the floor

An’ the orchestras are strummin’ out a high-falutin’ score.

You may hev the palus an’ roses an’ the fountain’s silver drip

With the dainty cakes an’ ices, with a drop of wine to sip,

But ur me, give me the dances thet the Gung people know

With ol’ Bijah Miller callin’ an’ with Sloky at the bow!

      It is, “git your partners neighbors

            Fur a good ol’ time quadrille;

      Break away you spoony couples,

            They’s another set to fill!

      Git your fiddle tuned up Sloky,

            Take positions on the floor;

      Ev’ry feller do his duty –

            All saloot, an’ forward four”

Take a roomy Gungy kitchen, back the furniture away,

Shore the sleepers firm an’ stiddy so the floor is bound to stay;

Git the neighbors all invited, ask ‘em in to jine the fun,

See the pantry’s stocked with goodies fur they’s bound to be a run.

Git ol’ Stoky with his fiddle, – he kin saw to beat the band –

Bijah Miller fur the promptin’ – Bige is eager to command –

An’ you hev a rare occasion, one to rouse you frum your trance

When the boys an’ gals are ready fur a Gungy kitchen dance.

      It is, “Swing yer partners, fellers!”

            An’ it’s, “Shassay down the line;”

      An’ it’s. “Balance on the corner!”

            Ev’rybuddy’s feelin’ fine.

      Keep your steppin’ to the fiddle,

            Sloky’s time is never slack;

It is, “Forward ev’rybuddy,”

      An’ it’s, “eight hands round an’ back!”

O, the music uv the fiddle with ol’ Sloky’s jigs an’ reels,

It is hard to keep frum dancin’ when it fills your heart an’ heels;

“Money Musk,” “The Salor’s Hornpipe”, an’ the “Soldier’s Joy” an’ all

Keep your clumsy feet a-goin’ till the welcome supper call.

O, the classic music’s fillin’ ef you like thet sort o’ thing,

But fur me the country fiddle an’ the country tune is king;

Give me jest a country kitchen an’ a country maiden’s glance,

With ol’ Sloky at the fiddle an’ a Gungy kitchen dance!

      It is, “Ladies chain,” an’ “balance!”

            First the tip an’ then the side;

      It is, “right hand to your pardner,

            Right an’ left, an’ circle wide.”

      It is, “Forward all,” an’ “balance”

            O, the music can’t be beat!

      It is, “swing your pardners, fellers”

            Then it’s, “Shassay to your seat!”

May 10, 1911