There Are No Girls Today

You ask me why I do not wed,

      Why one as blessed as I,

With naught of care, with income rare,

      Should pass each maiden by?

Ah, well ‘tis not my fault, my boy,

      ‘Tis not my fault, I say;

I’ve sought them well, but truth to tell,

      There are no girls today.

No girls today! You are surprised?

      You know a thousand? Yea,

Ten thousand grades of mannish maids,

      Who turn one’s heart to clay.

But good, old fashioned, trusting girls,

      Demure ones, where are they?

You shake your head – ‘tis as I said,

      There are no girls today.

                                          Joe Cone

May 5, 1900