Joy Again!

Hip hurrah! It isn’t so,

Thet report two days ago,

Theodore way down and out

Ridin’ on a rhino’s snout,

Knocked into a jelly raw

By a wicked lion’s paw;

Flattened like a worn out pant

By some thoughtless ellerfant.

How the message startled us!

What a time an’ what a fuss!

Couldn’t work nur sleep nur eat,

Hed to be out on the street

Where the great news bulletin

Prints the stuff thet’s cabled in,

Hopin’, hopin’, evermore

Better news of Theodore.

We could spare a lot of men,

Politicians, word or pen,

Soldiers, fighters in the ring,

Men who preach an’ men who sing,

Railway magnate, theatre star,

But not our good ol’ “T.R.”

He who furnishes us full ha’f

Verse an’ joke an’ paragraph.

Let the rhino, on my soul,

Capture men who found the pole;

Let the lions eat the stars

Who find this an’ that on Mars.

But keep ellerfants galore

From our gallant Theodore.

Rumor, grim, an’ full uv woe –

Hip hurrah! It isn’t so!

Nov. 8, ‘09