Amos Green’s Swearin’ Off

“I’m goin’ to turn a new leaf o’er,”

Said Amos Green, in Stokes’ store;

“Now you kin talk an’ laff an’ scoff,

But I am goin’ to swear off

A thing or two, jest mark my word,”

An’ then the next thing Amos heard

Was simply a good natured roar

Around the store in Stokes’ store.

Jed Martin he took out his pipe

Which, ez pipes go, wuz purty ripe,

An’ says to Amos, ruther lame,

“What be yur goin’ to swear off, Ame?”

An’ lookin’ at the crowd, says he,

“You never stick to nothin’, gee!

You’ve swore off year by year the same,

An’ yit you’re jest the same ol’ Ame!”

Then Amos looked around the ring

Ez though truz time he hed his fling;

He cleared his throat, an’ hemmed an’ hawed,

While all the others smoked and chawed.

Says he, “I’ve swore off –” good an’ loud,

“Buyin’ terbacker fur this crowd!”

There warn’t a murmer from the score

Uv setters there in Stokes’ store.

Dec. 30, ‘09