Old Abe Peters

Abe Peters was a Yankeeman, an’ sharper than a pin,

     He lived way out in Lonesome Lane, all by himself, an’ he

Would never visit other folks or ask his neighbors in,

     An’ never kept Thanksgivin’ or a Christmas juberlee.

He was the sharpest feller in a trade you ever knew,

     He was the closest buyer ever seen around the town;

An’ if he lent a dollar he was sure to get back two,

     An’ always took advantage of the feller who was down.

The old folks used to talk of him beside the fire at night,

     An’ dwell upon his dealin’s in a most peculiar way;

The children used to mock him when he chanced to come in sight,

     An’ this is but a sampler of the things they used to say:

                   “Old Abe Peters of Lonesome Lane

                   Old Abe Peters in town again;

                   Poor as a buzzard an’ mean as a crow,

                   With lots of money but none to show,

                             Old – Abe – Peters!”

There come a mighty blizzard an’ it buried Lonesome Lane,

     Abe Peters he was covered under seven feet of snow;

He tried to leave his shanty but he found it all in vain,

     Each day he grew more frightened with his fodder runnin’ low.

Some said “let’s dig out Peters,” an’ some said “no, let him go,”

     They argued o’er the matter till the week was on the wane,

Till finally they ventured, half a score of souls or so,

     And this is what they shouted as they dug out Lonesome Lane:

“Old Abe Peters unbuckle your gold!

                   Old Abe Peters we’re dry and cold.

                   Cider and coffee, or crackers and beer,

                   An’ money to buy us some Christmas cheer.

                             Old – Abe – Peters!”

Abe Peters saw ‘em comin’ from his garret window pane,

     He saw ‘em digging fiercely through the mighty heaps of snow;

His heart warmed for a moment then it turned to ice again

     He scowled with selfish malice on the workers down below.

An' did he pass ‘em coffee, did he offer Christmas cheer,

     An' thank ‘em for the labor which alas! was all in vain?

He warned ‘em from his dooryard in a manner most severe,

     An’ sued ‘em all for trespass when he got around again.

          “Abe Peters vanished from Lonesome Lane,

          Abe Peters will never come back again;

          Just where he is quartered we do not know,

          But it’s safe to reckon he’s found no snow –

                   Old – Abe – Peters!”

Dec. 19, ‘04

Began as ‘Old Abe Peter’s Christmas’.  

see also ‘Abe Peter’s Christmas’, 12/7/09