McManus

McManus was a lumper, but indeed that wasn’t all,

He was the grand encasement of a most obtrusive gall;

And we plotted oft the hang him, or at least to make him squirm,

But he was one of those cusses who stood in well with the firm.

If there was any mischief where no harm was really done,

It was bound to reach headquarters, and McManus was the one.

And if he saw us loafing, or “fixing” on the sly,

He was sure to tell the super, and improve it with a lie.

So we laid low for McManus and one day the boss was sick,

We planned to fix the lumper and to do it mighty quick.

He left the room a moment, and we fired off the joke,

And when he hurried in again the room was full of smoke.

And someone yelled “McManus, you’re afire, for God’s sake run!”

And we threw some burlap o’er him, and we seized him every one.

“You’re afire, McManus!” yelled we, “and we’ve got to put you out,”

And we soaked him in the hogshead of the ‘harden” mixture stout.

And we flounced him in the water, and we soaked him up and down –

“Be the powers!” yelled McManus, let me out or oil drown!”

“Let me out!” begged old McManus, and we rolled him on the floor,

Where he promised “be the powers, he’d not do it ouny more.”

And McManus is still a lumper, but he murmurs not a murm’,

And his life by far is safer than when he stood in with the firm.

Feb. 22, ‘97