The Househunter’s Appeal

Dear landlord, on my knees I beg

     You rent to us your flat;

We’ll pay you twice what it is worth

     And twice as much as that.

We’ll do, kind sir, all the repairs,

     And pay the taxes, too;

Insurance and the meter rates,

     We’ll also pay for you.

We have two pets which we will kill,

     A tiny dog and cat;

We wouldn’t think of bringing them

     Into a modern flat.

We wouldn’t harm your place, kind sir,

     ‘Twould have most gentle use;

If we should walk about the rooms

     We’d sure remove our shoes.

O, ‘Yes’, we have a little girl,

     But do not cherish doubt;

If you will let us have the flat

     We’ll board the baby out.

Please landlord, do not say us nay,

     But rent us, please, your flat,

We’ll pay you twice what it is worth

     And twice as much as that.

April 17, ‘09