A Consitterbul Traveller

Per’aps I hevn’t travelled roun’ this little globe somewhat,

An’ seen the biggest sight an’ sech the univuss hes got.

An’ mebbie I ain’t argud with the biggest guns there be,

An’ shook the han’s uv lord’s an’ dukes an’ had ‘em bow ter me.

What, “be’n abroad?” No, course I ain’t, but what hes thet to do

With trav’lin’ roun’ the univuss, I’d like ter ask uv yeou?

I’ve be’n all over Gungawamp, down through ter Turkey Hill,

An’ North ez fur ez Podunk Lane, an’ Eas’ ter Siderville.

I’ve seen the Guv’ner uv the state, an’ seen a train uv cars,

An’ heerd an’ eddicated chap tell all erbout the stars.

O, sho! yeou braggy-doshy  folks, don’t think yeour uncle’s green,

Fer there ain’t much on this here globe but what I’ve heerd or seen.

Nov. 11, 1893

Pub. in Boston Courier,

     Jan. 21, ‘94