Sunday, December 6, 2015

A Young Policeman



I wish I were a pol-ice-man
     Upon a city street;
The jolly times that I would have
     Surely could not be beat.
I wouldn’t go where it was dark;
     Nor in the lonesome ways;
I wouldn’t go policing nights,
     But through the pleasant days.

I’d stroll along the busy streets
     Where fruit stands were in view,
And swing my bright and shiny club
     Like all policemen do.
Then I would sample all the fruits,
     And all the knick-knacks, too;
And if they said a word to me
     I’d scowl and scare ‘em blue.

I’d stroll around the shady parks
     Each golden summer day,
To listen to the city bands
     When they began to play.
Or I would take some novel book
     Off to some lonesome spot,
Where many people wouldn’t see,
     And read an awful lot.

Then I would saunter, proud as life,
     Down some rich avenue,
Where maids were wheeling children out,
     All dressed in pink and blue,
And I would tell them fairy tales,
     The maids, of course, I mean,
And I would be a hero bold
     To each white-copped colleen.

I’d chuck the maids beneath their chins,
     And make their cheeks grow red,
Then leave them in a jealous rage
     And hold aloft my head,
And saunter down the street again
     Beneath their wistful eyes,
Then slip inside some kitchen door
     To sample cakes and pies.

I’d praise the high and mighty cook
     For all her pastry neat,
Till she would place in front of me
     The best she had to eat.
And if the owner of the house
     Should short of pastry be,
I’d eat and eat and eat some more
     And chortle in my glee.

Then I would dodge in thro a door
     Where lights were burning low,
And for an hour or so enjoy
     A moving picture show.
And then the station I would seek,
     And stand in bold relief,
And there receive, for being brave,
     The blessing of my chief.

I wish I were a pol-ice-man
     Upon a city square;
The people who were passing by
     Would look at me and stare.
I wouldn’t go down alleys dark,
     Nor in the lonesome ways;
I wouldn’t go policing nights,
     But through the pleasant days.




Dec. 6, 1916



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