The Village Procrastinator

Somewhere along in ‘93

Jed Wheeler come an’ said to me

“Ezequiel, I’m a goin’ to buy

A bisickle.” “Git eout!” says I.

“It’s true,” said Jed, with tilted head,

“A reg’lar bisickle,” said Jed.

Then Jed took on a knowin’ air,

An’ raised his hat frum off his hair,

An’ wiped his Dan’l Webster brow

An’ says, “but I don’t buy it now;

No sir,, not now,” said Jed, “by swow,

They’ll be much cheaper months frum now.”

An' that was long in ‘93

When Jed made that remark to me.

In ’94 I spoke to Jed

About that bisickle, he said

That he hed found by lookin’ roun’

That wheels wuz surely comin’ down,

An’ that he’d wait another year

An’ mebbie git a higher gear.

“O yes,” said Jed, with tilted head,

“Great scheme fur savin’ cash,” he said.

Waal ’95 an’ ‘6 went by

An’ bisickles warn’t nigh so high.

I met Jed down to Jones’s store

An’ asked him ez I’d done before,

Ef he hed got his wheel ez yit,

Or what kind he wuz like to git.

Then Jed took on a wise-like grin,

An’ scratched the stubble on his chin

An’ hemmed an’ hawed an’ shet one eye,

An’ says, “I’ll git one by an’ by.”

Says Jed, “they’re droppin’ three or four

Dollars per year, an’ sometimes more;

I’m savin’ that much, don’t yew see,

Which is good interest fur me.

I’ll walk aroun’ this blamed ol’ town

Another year an’ salt it down.”

An’ so he walked, two years, at least,

The while the price uv wheels decreased.

In 1900 once again

I met ol’ Jed upon the train;

“Why don’t yew ride yewr wheel?” says I,

An’ Jed he kinder closed one eye

An’ says quite conferdential like,

“The reason I ain’t bought no bike

Is jest becuz I’m waitin’ till

They git a little cheaper still;

Why man,” sez he, “Why don’t yew see,

I’m makin’ money – course I be.

A year or two or more went by

An’ Jed, still squintin’ up one eye,

Walked back an’ forth from home to town

While bisickles kept comin’ down.

“O no,” said Jed, with shake of head,

I’ll walk an’ save my cash instead.

I’ll walk an’ use my weather eye;

They’ll git down cheaper by an’ by.

An’ that was long in ‘93

That Jed talked bisickle to me.

He’s talked about it ever sence,

An’ still kept straddle of the fence.

“O no,” says he, “Yew can’t fool me,

I know what I’m about,” says he.

An' so he walked an’ by degrees

Poor Jed he got the foot disease.

So ‘tother day he sent away

To got his wheel. But strange to say,

Before he git around to ride

Jed took a turn an’ up an’ died.

c. Dec. 5, 1904