THE EXCUSE DETATCHMENT

   No. 1

O, Cap’n, I am sick today, I simply cannot drill;

I really ought to be in bed, wife says I’m looking ill;

I think I ought to be excused, my work is way behind,

I’ll go right home and go to bed, sir, if you do not mind.

                            No. 2

O, Cap’n, wife is ill today and feeling very blue;

She can’t be left alone at all, – I don’t know what to do.

Of course I’d like to stay and drill, but please excuse me, sir;

Poor wife is suffering from blues, and I must stay with her.

                            No. 3

O, Cap’n, I have got a leg that’s put me on the bum;

I couldn’t walk a half a mile, sir, not for any sum.

The doctor says I’m liable to lose it don’t you know

I’d like to be excused from drill and give my leg a show.

                            No. 4

Sure, Cap’n, I was up all night wid toot ache in me face;

To ask the likes o’ me to drill would sure be a disgrace.

I wud not shirk me duty, sor, McSweeney is me name!

Excuse me from the drill today – tomorry I’ll be game.

                            No. 5

O, meester Cap’, I feela bad, I no can dreel today;

Eenside my stom’ I feela seeck, more what I coulda say.

I lak for dreel when I am well but now I too much weak,

So meester Cap’, excusa me, bay cause I feela seeck.

                            No. 6

“O, Captain, I am sick,” – he rose and thumped the table, “bang!”

And looking at the derelicts, his rasping answer rang:

“Get out o’ here you cripples all, you rookies, beat it, quick!

Ye gods, if this thing doesn’t stop I’ll be the one that’s sick!”

Oct. 10, 1917