Gungywamp Fireside Tales - Eban Plumb’s Cider Bee

                                 I.

Ame Green dropped in the other night, ez he is won’t to do,

To talk uv things in general an’ give his p’int uv view;

He hemmed an’ hawed an’ cleared his throat to seech a great extent

Thet pa, who is exceedin’ bright, knew jest what Amos meant,

An’ sent me to the cellar fur a pitcher uv his best,

Knowin’ thet he’d done his share thet Ame would do the rest.

An’ after Ame hed rinsed his throat an’ oiled his palate well

An’ filled his pipe to suit his taste he slowly broke the spell.

                                 II.

“Beats all how cider works,” says he, “in summer’n winter, too,

When summer nights are long an’ hot it cools you through an’ through;

An’ then ag’in in winter time, say ten or twelve below,

It sorter warms your stomach up an’ puts you in a glow.

Sometimes it takes a fair amount to put you at y’r best,

But laws, it’s cheap,” says Amos Green, “ez cheap ez all persest,

Any anybuddy’s right down poor I say who don’t perten’

To keep a-plenty fur their friends who drop by now an’ then.”

                                 III.

It seems to me the times hev changed, an’ folks don’t keep no more

The big supply uv apple juice they kep’ in days uv yore;

Somehow it ain’t the fad it wuz, I’m sorry fur to say,

Like lots uv good ol’ fashioned things, it’s sorter passed away.

It makes me think uv Eban Plumb when he fust came to town;

He ‘peared to be quite well to do an’ hed things right up brown.

The neighbors they all flocked right in, by day ez well ez night

An' Eban he wuz pop’lar with the masses here all right.

                                 IV.

But by an’ by they dropped a bit, an’ fin’lly didn’t come.

An’ Eban wondered at the slight, an’ questioned people some

An I, I says, I’ll tell you why; the custom here hez been

Thet people ‘spect some cider sir, whenever they come in.

“O, ho!” Says Eben, “thet’s the how! Sure I kin fix all thet,

An’ so he bought two bar’ls uv the best thet he could git.

An’ then he sent the word around, by other folks an’ me,

Thet ev’ry Wednesday night he’d hev a reg’lar cider bee!

                                 V.

You’d orter see the crowd wuz there! They come frum all around,

An’ Eban wuz restored ag’in in favor at a bound.

He hed the slickest apple juice the town hed ever seen,

An’ how he filled the fellers up showed Eban wuzzn’t green.

He hed ‘em stowed round ev’rywheres in ev’ry sort uv way,

An’ some they didn’t git back home till late the fol’rin’ day.

Some wuzzn’t fit to work all week – he’d done the thing up brown,

An’ Eban’s cider bee wuz talked all over Gungy town.

                                 VI.

The women folks got all riled up an’ hed a meetin’ then,

An’ indignation meetin’, ‘twuz, excludin’ all the men.

They talked like women never talked, an’ then they took a vote,

An’ sent the man uv cider bees a very pressin’ note.

They wuz a hundred strong, they said, they knew no word like “fail”

An’ ef he give another ‘bee’ they’d ride him on a rail.

They said they’d ride him out uv town, an’ e’er they turned him loose

They’d give his hide a        bath in his ol’ apple juice.

An’ Eban took the hint all right, although we all felt sad;

Thet wuz the only cider bee thet Gungy ever had.

June 16, 1911

(the following lyric was written on the back of the third page of this: )

                        Pa got an idea in his head that he

                            Could get each hen to lay two eggs

                            If he could only find some simple way

                        To make it dark at noon