I.
Abe
Crocket he wuz down an’ out, with roomertiz an’ such
An’
he wuz groanin’ day an’ night with pain to beat the Dutch;
He
couldn’t do a stroke uv luck, he couldn’t saw nur split,
His
woodpile it wuz down an’ out, an Abe wuz heavy hit.
His
wife wuz pickin’ brush an’ sech frum out around the door
Until
she’d skinned the yard so close there wuzn’t any more.
The
neighbors saw their sorry plight, ez neighbors orter see,
An’
so they said they’d drop around an hev a “sawin’ bee”.
II.
A
“bee”, ef you don’t hap’ to know, is where the gang takes holt
An’
helps a feeler do his work when he hez hed a jolt.
When
he’s stove up with roomertiz or knocked out any way.
They
all jine in an’ do his job without no thought uv pay.
Sometimes
it is a sawin’ bee, or hoein’, like ez not,
Or
shinglin’ uv the house or barn, or hayin’ in the lot.
The
helpin’ out, collectively, uv one who isn’t free
To
work himself is called by way back country folks a “bee”.
III.
An’
so they met at Abe’s one day, a dozen, mebbie more
An’
lugged his cordwood, broken rails an’ sech around his door,
An’
started in with “hip hurrah” to saw an’ split his wood,
An’
showed more vigor than I thought a Gungywamper could.
They
sawed an’ split an’ piled it up jest like a big machine,
Until
it towered “mountain like”, to quote ol’ Amos Green;
They
toted ev’ry blessed stick thet they could find thet day
An’
sawed it up at Crockett’s door, to keep the chill away.
IV.
An’
Abe he set around an’ groaned his pain wuz so intense;
His
wife she told him to stay in, he’d orter hev more sense.
But
Abe preferred to stay outside, to cheer the boys, he said,
Although
he groaned with roomertiz like he wuz nearly dead.
His
wife she fetched ‘em coffee, an’ she fetched ‘em doughnuts new
After
which they labored faster till their axes fairly flew.
An’
ere the sun hed dropped frum sight the wood wuz finished quite,
An’
Abe hed thanked ‘em one an’ all, an’ bade ‘em all good night.
V.
“I
tell you wife,” Abe Crockett said, “It’s fine to hev, I say,
A
set uv neighbors sech ez them to help me on my way;
To
come an’ saw five cord o’ wood when I can’t hardly crawl;
It
makes me feel ez though I wuz somebuddy after all.”
An’
Abe he went to sleep thet night ez peaceful ez could be,
His
heart aglow with gratitude, his mind frum trouble free.
An’
all the neighbors slept right well, becuz, ez you can guess
They’d
done their noble duty by a neighbor in distress.
VI.
There
is a moral to this tale, a moral deep an’ strong,
One
which will fain unfold itself ez you progress along.
‘Tis
not the moral you suspect, although I wish it were,
Becuz
it’s noble to do good, you can’t deny, no sir!
An’
Abe done good, done mighty good, at least I’ve heard them say,
Becuz
the roomertiz all left his bloomin’ bones next day;
An'
he wuz round the groc’ry store – don’t see jest how he could,
A-braggin’
to some strangers there about his pile o’ wood!
July
18, 1911
The
expression “beat the Dutch” came
into vogue in the years following the purchase of the Island of Manhattan
from the North American Indians living on the land by the first Dutch Governor
of the Province of New Netherland, Peter Minnewit (1580 – 1638) on
May 24, 1626. The selling price was 50 guilders worth of trade
goods, or just $24 USD. From that point onward, anything that was more
impressive than this transaction was said to “beat the Dutch.”
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