“Short” Cake

You kin talk erbout yer salads or yer peaches soaked in cream,

But I think I know a neater, sweeter stummuck linin’ scheme;

Take a big, pot bellied dumplin’ like yer mother uster turn,

Shampoo it well ‘ith butter like yer mother uster churn;

Then put on a scalp o’ berries, all you kin stick an’ pile,

An’ you’ve got a short cake pardner ‘at will make yer palate smile.

Uv course you knowed erbout it ‘fore you heerd it offen me,

But good things will bear repeatin’, no matter what they be;

An’ a good big slice o’ short-cake will bear repeatin’, too,

Pervidin’ you are built like me an’ I’m put up like you.

An’ the on’y thing erbout it, – drawback uv any sort,

Is ‘at the lastin’ qualities mos’ allus are too “short”.

July 5, ‘94

Pub. in B. Courier, July 15, ‘94