When Father Goes to Swim

 You ought to be around sometime,

     Down by the ocean’s brim,

And see the corking show we have

     When father goes to swim.

‘Cuz father wants a lot o’ room,

     And no one near to him,

He wants the ocean to himself

     When he goes out to swim.

Now father he’s a wondrous sight,

     He is so big and fat;

He doesn’t like the sun too well,

     And so he wears a hat.

And father’s bathing suit fits close,

     ‘Tain’t none too big for him;

You can imagine how he looks

     When he goes out to swim.

He fusses if the water’s cold,

     Or if the water’s high;

He’s scat to death of sharks and such,

     Or if a crab is nigh.

He paddles in up to his knees

     And rubs his monstrous limb;

O, there is lots of sport on hand

     When father goes to swim.

Sometimes he slips and tumbles in,

     That’s when we laugh for good;

‘Cuz pa he spits and flounders round

     Just like a porpoise would.

We have to hide behind the boat

     And keep our laughin’ dim;

‘Cuz we would ketch it if he knew

     We’re laughin’ so at him.

Well, pa, he fin’ly gets ashore

A-swearin’ pretty sound

Then tries to blame it onto ma

     ‘Cuz he a-most got drown’d.

And then he won’t go in no more

     For sev’ral days, not him;

O, but it’s fun for us, you bet,

     When father goes to swim.

July 4, ‘10

Friday, July 8

  

Future mother and father in law of Joe Cone's daughter Irene

Bessie Eaton and Rev. William Franklin White