The Schoolmarm Who Boarded Round

                                  I

One year the school committee men they wished to cut expense,

An’ so they hit upon a plan they all thought was immense;

They’d heard their fathers tell about the teachers long ago

Had boarded round, from house to house, all through the term, an’ so

They thought they’d resurrect the scheme, an’ have the teacher stay

A week or two at ev’ry house, an’ have no board to pay.

The people all agreed to keep the teacher their full share,

Although some thought they wasn’t up to snuff on beds an’ fare.

                                  II

Excitement it run pretty high in Gungawamp that fall,

An’ ev’ryone had some excuse to make a lengthy call;

They’d ‘greed to board the teacher round, an’ yet no one had seen

What she was like, or anything, exceptin’ Amos Green

The school committee’s leadin’ man, an’ mebbie two or three

Who’d been off to investigate an’ get her pedigree.

So ‘twasn’t any wonder that the Gungy women found

Excitement in the idée of a teacher boardin’ round.

                                  III

At last ‘twas time for school to start, an’ so the teacher came,

A tall an’ stately creature with a full an’ rounded frame;

She was right fair to look upon, with most bewitchin’ eyes,

An’ cheeks as red as any(thing) in Gungy’s autumn skies.  

She had a soft an’ pleasin’ voice, a smile that boded ill

For all the youth of Gungawamp who were free hearted still;

An’ right away the married men some good excuses found

Why their particular home should claim the schoolmarm boardin’ round.

                                  IV

Ame Green he claimed the honor first because he was the head

Of Gungawamp’s committeeemen, so thither she was led;

An’ for a week all seemed serene, until Ame’s helpmeet found

His time was wholly given to the schoolmarm boardin’ round.

Each night there was a conference on deep an’ lofty ways

By which the school could be improved, an’ Ame was full of praise

Of her advanced idees, an’ wished to help her all he could,

An’ so they talked till late o’night for Gungy’s public good.

                                  V

Now Amos’ wife warn’t quite so sure of Ame’s good intents,

Besides, the burnin’ of the oil just rolled up the expense.

He’d never thought so much afore about the children’s good;

Just why he took it up right now she thought she understood.

She said she wasn’t able to keep boarders anyhow,

An’ so the teacher had to change to save a fam’ly row.

Poor Ame explained as best he could, an’ some good reasons found,

An’ took her to the next in line, the teacher boardin’ round.

                                  VI

The second week she found herself way out on “Willer Road”;

Hen Billings he had spoken next, an’ thither with her load

Of trunks an’ bags was she conveyed. Hen had two grown-up boys

Who said to drive her back an’ forth would be their greatest joys.

It warn’t a week before the boys had lost their hearts an’ all,

An’ wouldn’t speak, an’ Henry’s wife was grieved beyond recall.

“Our home will jest be busted up,” Hen said in grief profound,

An’ so the schoolmarm made another start at boardin’ round.

                                  VII

Bill Jones, the grocer man came next, an’ here she found a rest;

Of all the places she had been it really was the best.

Bill was a widower, an’ so beginnin’ Monday night

He closed his store so early that the sitters got a fright.

Bill’s daughter Cynthy run the house, an’ when her young man came

An’ saw the schoolmarm with her cheeks an’ tall an’ rounded frame,

He just forgot that Cynthy lived, an’ ere the week was o’er

The schoolmarm she was boardin’ with her family number four!

                                  VIII

The young men of the village now were very wide awake,

An’ many called to visit school, or other errands make;

Jed Martin’s home, where now she stopped, was filled with callers, too,

Who came on lame excuses, but staid the evenin’ through.

The church on Sunday nights was filled with youth, as ne’er before;

A score to see her home as soon as she come out the door.

An’ most the village girls they thought she was a sight profound,

The innocent schoolteacher who was simply boardin’ round.

                                  IX

Some people ‘lowed the Gungy school was near demoralized;

An’ said the bigger boys who went were simply hypnotized,

An’ ‘sted of studyin’ their books moped the whole-day long,

An’ wrote the teacher poetry an’ billet doux an’ song.

Ame Green he swore she warn’t to blame, that she was good as gold,

That women they was jealous ‘cause she was fair to behold.

He said if they should turn her out they’d turn him out as well,

An’ so the town was kept on edge for quite a tryin’ spell.

                                  X

Some fam’lies were divided; while things went from bad to worse;

Some thought she was a blessin’, an’ some ‘lowed she was a curse.

They called a special meetin’ of the school committee crowd,

An’ oratory cut the air, high-soundin’, deep an’ loud.

Some they was for, an’ some against, an’ things was gittin’ hot

When someone broke in with some news that made ‘em plum upsot.

The schoolmarm she had quit the town, eloped, the bearer said,

With Squire Patten’s only son, an’ that they now was wed!

                                  XI

The purpose of the meetin’ then had fallen loud an’ flat

An’ for a while they didn’t seem to know where they was at;

When Uncle Ezra he arose an said ‘twas his idée

To hire another teacher now as homely as could be;

He said he thought ‘twould save the town, an’ layin’ by all jokes,

‘Twould be a good thing for the men, an’ suit the women folks!

An’ so they started out again, an’ such a teacher found,

An’ nothin’ more was said about the schoolmarm’s boardin’ round.

Jan. 26, 1910