Undecision

His tender, searching, lovelit eyes,

     Are peering into mine;

The glow upon his kingly face

     Seems something half divine.

I love him well, as best I can,

     Because he’s good and true;

But somehow, O! my old, old love,

     My thoughts fly back to you.

His hand is firmly clasping mine,

     His dark face bending near;

His heart is pouring out a song

     Which maidens love to hear.

I love to hear it, too, but – ah!

     The old days rush to view;

And while my heart it pities him,

     It beats alone for you.

“O, God!” I cry, “Is all this wrong,

     To play this double part?

To give myself unto this man,

     And still withhold my heart?”

‘Tis sweet to know he loves me so,

     He is so good and true;

And yet, ‘tis sweeter, absent one,

     To idly dream of you.

But can I in the future years,

     If now I say him yes,

Return his potent love and give

     Caress for fond caress?

Or will I though my wedding life

     The same mock path pursue,

And while I live his reverenced wife

     Have loving thoughts of you?

June 7, ‘92

   Pub. in

Conn. Valley

      Ad.