The New Girl – And Why Things Are Thusly

She has rods and guns and horses,

     She has yachts and launches fast;

She has Kodacs, bows and arrows,

     She has hunting pastures vast.

She has croquet, she has tennis,

     She has implements of war;

But she hasn’t that sweet nature

     That we used to love her for.

She has form and she has feature,

     She has language upper ten;

She has courage not exceeded

     By the most courageous men.

She has pockets in her bloomers,

     She has ideas up to date;

Fact, she has so much, confound it,

     That she doesn’t want a mate.

Sept. 22, ‘96

Pub. in B. Courier,

May 30,

    ‘97