A Musical Career

I stan’ before ther worl’ to-day,

A man thet can an’ cannot play.

For w’en I started as it were,

‘Twas on a small harmonica.

Tirin’ uv thet I bought a fife,

But couldn’ l’arn ter save my life.

Then I j’ined the village band,

An’ tummed an’ drummed an’ thought ‘twas grand.

Then thought I I’ll l’arn ter sing,

So gave up every other thing.

But thet, somehow, soon failed ter suit,

So daddy bought for me a flute.

I struggled hard an’ sqeaked er out,

But thet, somehow, went up the spout.

Then I hit it – oh, what fun!

I squeezed a big accordion.

Then daddy said he hoped I would

Jes stick ter that, an’ l’arn it good.

But soon a feelin’ stole within

Thet I must hev a violin;

An' soon ther neighbors hurd me twiddle

On a wheezy home-made fiddle.

“Found at last!” cried I in glee,

As I sawed out Rosy Lee,

Ol’ Zip Coon, an’ Devil’s Dream –

I hed on a ton uv steam.

Then came an eddicated fool,

Fresh frum some music trainin’ school;

Chock full uv l’arnin’ an’ uv sand

He organized a big brass band.

I dropped the fid’ an’ in a sweat

I bought a shinin’ brass cornet.

About a year I held ther place,

Then dropped frum cornet down ter bass.

Ther ol’ band busted, an’ I found

Some comfort in ther organ’s sound.

But here I am, now ol’ an’ gray,

A man thet can an’ cannot play.

March 29, ‘91

Pub. in The Leader