My Cousin Caruse

My cous’ Caruse he com’ for shav’,

     An’ gotta een my chair;

I did not know ‘twas heem, an’ so

     I had no feel a scare.

I shav’ heem s’am’ I shava you

     I poncho heesa jaw,

An’ rub hees head lik’ he was dog

     Weeth my gre’t beega paw.

He say to me, “You nevra hear

     Da great Caruso seeng?

No!” Een I say I can’ta pay

     For hear so gre’ta thing.

“You theenk he’s gre’t?” He say to me,

     “I am so gre’t as he;”

“You go for chase yourself,” I say,

     “You are but twenty t’ree.”

He laugh an’ write on heesa card:

     “Pass, 2, for opera.”

Dan light up heesa ceegarette,

`An’ bow an’ say, “Good day!”

I can no speek for my surprise,,

     Take time for undrastan’;

An’ dan I say, “My cous’ Caruse

     He eesa beega man!”

March 28, ‘10