“Slightly Infected”

The boarders round the table now

     Look with suspicious eye,

Each time the table girl trips from

     The kitchen handy by.

Upon each plate of steaming steak

     A sign in bas relief

Is seen, which plainly reads:

     “Slightly infected beef”.

Next day the menu may be changed –

     It is sometimes, you know,

And on the platter sizzling

     We see a golden glow.

And still we see the placard there

     Standing upon its pegs

In bold but truthful handiwork:

     “Slightly infected eggs”.

On Fridays when our palates fixed

     Upon a toothsome dish

The same old sign turns up again:

     “Slightly infected fish”.

And so on down the daily list

     The truthful letters flash

Because our hostess won’t deceive:

     “Slightly infected hash”.

When pay-day comes – sometimes it does –

     I’m going to get square;

She shan’t have a monopoly

     On truthfulness, I swear!

A placard I shall have prepared

     And in her palm will flash;

‘Twill be pinned to the bills and read:

     “Slightly infected cash”!

March 1, ‘09