Spearin’ Eels

Jed Wheeler ‘lowed that he could spear more eels in half a day

Than any chap in Gungawamp, or twenty miles away.

“They’s some things in this life,” said Jed, “I can’t do very well,

But I kin puggle after eels to beat – well, truth to tell

I ain’t takin’ no back seat, when spearin’ eels is named,

Frum any man who ever helt an eel spear, I’ll be blamed!

Ef you hev got a feller who you think kin down me, why

Jest bring him on,” Jed Wheeler said, “an’ let him hev a try.”

“Jest bring him down to Lizzard Crick

An’ open up some holes,

An’ we will see

Ef him or me

     Is King-pin on the holes!”

It had so happened that a chap by name of Baxter Lane

Had lately moved to Gungawamp frum down the State o’ Maine

An’ Baxter had been tellin’ of the mighty things he’d done

Down in the roomy Pine Tree State, an’ spearin’ eels was one.

He said he’d speared ‘em out so fast his boys, an’ he hed two,

Could skurce begin to pick ‘em up as off his spear they flew.

“An’ big ones, well, don’t say a word,” said neighbor Baxter Lane,

“Ef they was under seven pounds I’ll never eel again.”

          We if he would try a “go” with

              Jed, we’d give a prize?

          “Why yes, he said,

          I’ll eel with Jed

              Fur number an’ fur size.”

An’ so the match was all arranged an’ half the town was there

To see the mighty eelin’ bout between the skillful pair;

More bets were placed on Bax’ than Jed, becuz, as can be seen,

E’en a town like Gungawamp the newest broom sweeps clean.

Two score of holes were chopped an’ cleared, an’ when the clock struck ten

The gladiators shoved their poles down in the holes, n’ then

Begun the greatest eelin’ scrape that ever human eyes

Beheld. It was fur blood an’ not fur any measly prize.

     They jabbed an’ poked an’ walked arounf

          Each hole with swishin’ heels,

     Until it looked

     As tho’ they’d hooked

          A million squimin’ eels!

Excitement rose an’ fell ag’in, as Baxter, then ol’ Jed,

Was way ahead or way behind; but fin’ly Baxter led,

In size an’ numbers, when ol’ Jed begun to work his pole

Jest like a rivetin’ machine, he did, upon my soul!

He drove it home an’ yanked it out as spiteful as could be,

Sometimes he hed a monstrous eel, sometimes a sunken tree!

Bimeby he got a-hold for fair of somethin’ big an’ stout,

Which wouldn’t let go of his spear, nor could he pull it out.

     “Dog-gone ye for a whale!” said Jed,

          “I’ll have ye’ out, by gash!

     Or in I’ll go,

     One of the two,”

          An’ in he went “kersplash!”

Jed kept a-holt his limber pole an’ went down out of sight

When Baxter too was in the midst of one tremenjust bite!

He pulled an’ yanked an’ purty soon out came his spear locked fast

To Jed’s, an’ Jed a-clingin’ holt an’ comin’ upward last.

When Jed popped up in Baxter’s hole, I b’leive, upon my soul,

He’d half a mind to drop back in let go of his pole.

He didn’t want it noised around thet Baxter’d pulled him through,

Although of course the crowd had seen the hull hullaballoo.

     They pulled Jed out an’ stood him up, a

          Sight for sorry eyes;

     His courage fell,

     He knew right well

          Thet Baxter’d git the prize.

March 1, ‘09 

puggle - from Wiktionary, Creative Commons Attribution/Share-Alike License
· v. To coax (a rabbit) from a burrow by poking a stick down the hole and moving it about.
· v. To poke around a hole with a stick.
           https://www.wordnik.com/words/puggle