Takin' Poets Names In Vain

I wonder if these bards would miff,

     Were I to take ‘em one by one,

An’ show ‘em up sort uv abrup’

     To all ther people, jes for fun.

Now thar’s that Foss ther dear ol’ hoss,

     Whene’er he sees a man in “woe”,

Don’t hessertate but walks up straight

An’ “grins” an’ “shakes”, and syas “hello!”

That Hoosier bard feels ruther hard

     Cuz he ain’t got his “ruthers”;

But that’s a whim, an’ jes tell him

     It’s ther way with all his brothers.

Rudyard Kipling jes ‘er stripling –

     But reely, I think we’d orter

Praise jes our own – let them alone

     As live beyond ther water.

James B. Wiggin keeps a diggin’,

     An’ unearthin’ jags an’ fun;

An’ Browne Perriman is a merry man,

     While rovin’ Lumunis.

Joaquin Miller’s a reg’lar killer

     On Rocky Mountain verse;

An’ lots uv more – yea, by the score,

     Whose pens might do far wuss.

Thr’s yit one still in ther mill

     A-tryin’ ter grind out suthin’;

But I dunno; ther grindin’ slow,

     An’ nuthin’ from nuthin’, leaves nuthin!

March 6-10, ‘91

Note – This poem was crossed out in the original, hand-written collection